Yesterday was very emotional for me. I think things are going great between us then I feel like I am thrown a major curve ball. I love it when we have very intimate talks together. What I dont love is hearing how his mom thinks I am manipulative. I dont think I am in the way she feels I am at all. I can admit that I have done things to manipulate things my way when I was a lot younger, but now as an adult I dont feel that is a necessary evil in my life. I am not looking to trap anyone to be with me, I dont want to be taken care of and I dont want people to pity me. All I want is to be loved and feel like I am actually loved. Do I ever feel like this will happen, I am going to respond with never say never. I used to think in no way would it happen. I have to hold out hope for something in my life and why shouldnt love be a part of it?
I am still so confused about everything between us. I DO NOT want to rush into anything but I also feel like there is the proverbial elephant in the room. I dont like walking on eggshells either and I kinda feel like I have to all the time. He kidded with me the other day and kept saying he was going to dump me and I was really taking that seriously and very hard. I hate feeling like this but I dont know what to do with these feelings.
No comments:
Post a Comment